I am on my way.
Ready to go.
Tomorrow we start.
hopefully it will be the last time I have to start.

this makes my heart happy.

That's as funny as real love...

That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

It finally dawned on me tonight, best to go down without a fight...

their crash, their kiss

All your kind they're coming clean
They shut their eyes, their mess, their scenes
All your kind, their spool and lance
their crash, their kiss, they harmonize
All your kind they're, all your kind they
All your kind they come and clean
their sleep through keys
they kill their needs
it's kill...


I sometimes think what some of my last thoughts are before i pass one day. Who knows if that will be in 10 years or a long live like 80-something your old margaret ashmore had.

the older we get, the wiser we get (or alteast some should). I think I'm getting a better grasp of what's it all about, but then something happens and I'm not really. I don't get it. I don't fully know. I want to know all these things and be told all the answers, but I'm starting to see more and more that they may not happen. and that's ok.

a dear friend recently gave me this quote, "Life is Silly." IT ABSOLUTELY MOST FUCKING IS SILLY! And working day to day to try to figure it out is even sillier.

So for now, i just have to keep living my life. try not to make stupid mistakes, try not to be so careless. try not to take it all to fucking serious. instead, enjoy the life i live, the city around me, the people in my life.

where does the good go...

So much has been happening in the last week. A lot has changed for my friends and thus in fact has had an impact on myself.

with that topic, it's funny how life changes all of the sudden. I feel like at this age and point in my life, I am just trying to "figure out myself"; figure out what i want out of life, who i want to spend my life with, what i want to be doing with my life, and how i'm supposed to do it.

tuesday, I got thrown for a loop; a spoke in the wheel, no path to lead; a bridge not yet built; whatever you want to call it.

at first, i thought FUCK. this is not what i wanted, this wasn't what i was planning for... but then i kind of got to thinking about life. And I realized that change is good (though we don't like it, we have to accept it because it's not going anywhere). That life is like knowledge. One can never have too much of it, one can never not be learning. Why would one want to be ignorant enough to never want to learn anything new and valuable? With that said, who would want to not experience new life adventures that came their way, just because they weren't planned? If we planned everything, I think life would be a lot more boring then it already can be at times.

I guess I'm just looking forward to figuring out life some more, discovering live, finding happiness. I don't have any better of an idea of what that will be, but maybe i'm not supposed. Maybe i'm just supposed to LIVE and everything else will just fall into place...