i'm 23 (and a half) years old. I live in my own apt. I pay my own bills. And daily I try to draw lots of people to concerts all over this large city. All these things should make me an adult. I should know how to act like an adult. But i'm still learning. I'm trying to be an adult. but really want does an adult do at the tough times?
it's definitely the start of fall, winter is on the horizon, because the cooler weather always bring along some heartache and sadness. Tonight I was driving around the loop wondering what to do with myself. I didn't want to go to my empty apt. I had no one to go visit because they were either not at home, busy, or the other. I wanted to drive to see my aunt and just cry. to just tell her everything that i couldn't deal with or everything that hurt so bad.
And as i kept driving around the loop and further from my house, i realized i couldn't do it. I wanted to, i wanted her to just hug me and tell me that everything will be ok. That work won't always be so busy, stress won't always be so high, life won't always get you down...
My tough act can only go so far. I can only put up face for a certain amount of time. I'm not as thick skinned as I wish. I get upset, i get hurt. I've been fucked over. hard. and i have no desire for that to happen again. I'm not naive enough to think that people won't hurt/i won't be hurt in the future.
So as an adult, I have to find how to get thicker skin, face life head on, and just live the best life I can.
I don't think this life lesson is going to be so easy to figure out
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