it's all gonna break......GONNA BREAK!

i love and hate life right now. I guess i kinda knew going into this weekend, it would be good and bad. And it was both.

I'm glad i got to see my friends from college, and I'm glad I got to see my friends from now. It's still so hard sometimes to be back. I think that is one of the reasons I was subconciously not going back for so long. I've only been out of college for 4 months, but I have changed so much since then. I'm not the same, and I don't think that is a bad thing. I actually kind of like it. I just feel so much pressure to be the Amy they remember or think they know. The mash and the smash. It's rough, and I try to, but it usually ends with me being drunk. too. I tried so hard to not be defined as that. I hope that I can start being a little bit more honest next time I go back, and i hope my friends will not think bad of me.

I fucked up on saturday afternoon. I got confused, I got forgetful, and I was just distracted in my own thoughts and situations. I felt and still feel awful about it. If I have learned anything through the lives of myself and my friends these last 4.5 months is that we all fuck up. And hopefully with love and forgiveness, we can get through it all.


With my own life? my actions?
I hope I'm doing ok....i hope that it will all be the same in the end.

I am fine.