Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
You asked for nothing, why don't you share it...
during the day, i get over come with so many thoughts and feelings about my life going on.
not necessarily about work stress or projects, but my feelings on how my life is constantly changing.
sometimes i have this overpowering feeling that it's all crashing down around me.
that pretty soon, my life will be in shambles, and i'll be alone and lost.
but by the end of the day, at around that time that i'm getting ready to lay down to sleep in preparation for tomorrow, i start to see things a little bit more clear.
i start to see that what i think was important isn't so important.
what earlier in the day made me sad or felt depressing, i realize is just frivolous.
sometimes things and people are just the same way.
frivolous.
i realize other's tactics of showing meaning in their life or no longer the same as mine.
i don't ever want to scale the importance of things or people in that way ever again.
and i won't.
growing up is hard to do.
it all comes a day at a time, a step at a time.
i'm not fearing it as much as I used to.
I'm starting to see the upsides to growing up prove much greater rewards then the past.
so as i lay my head down to sleep, i will drift off dreaming of what tomorrow has in store and my mind will wonder on what new things, new thoughts, and new feelings are to come....
"All of the time you wait, there's somebody out there"
not necessarily about work stress or projects, but my feelings on how my life is constantly changing.
sometimes i have this overpowering feeling that it's all crashing down around me.
that pretty soon, my life will be in shambles, and i'll be alone and lost.
but by the end of the day, at around that time that i'm getting ready to lay down to sleep in preparation for tomorrow, i start to see things a little bit more clear.
i start to see that what i think was important isn't so important.
what earlier in the day made me sad or felt depressing, i realize is just frivolous.
sometimes things and people are just the same way.
frivolous.
i realize other's tactics of showing meaning in their life or no longer the same as mine.
i don't ever want to scale the importance of things or people in that way ever again.
and i won't.
growing up is hard to do.
it all comes a day at a time, a step at a time.
i'm not fearing it as much as I used to.
I'm starting to see the upsides to growing up prove much greater rewards then the past.
so as i lay my head down to sleep, i will drift off dreaming of what tomorrow has in store and my mind will wonder on what new things, new thoughts, and new feelings are to come....
"All of the time you wait, there's somebody out there"
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Selfless, Cold, and Composed....
so many things i've wanted to write about.
so many interesting things have happened.
i wish i would have written them all down sooner.
today, i was at central market for lunch. i went to get away from everything going on around me. this guy was taking too long of a time in the soup line. i was getting really impatient, but i stayed quiet. i noticed an old man (old enough to be a grandfather, but looked more like willie nelson) waiting on the other side of the slow, slow business man. when he was done, i dove in to get my lid for my cup, i asked the older man if he would like a lid too. he was so taken back, he hesitated to speak. he told me why yes and thank you. while we were walking to check out, he handed me a napkin when he got one.
i was having a really bad day today. in fact, it never really got any better. i was in no mood to do anything nice for strangers, especially after having about 5 minutes wasted waiting for slowly mcsouperson. I don't know if I did it because I've always had these manners bestowed in me or if because i knew it was just something to do. to help someone (even if it was just a lid) when you could. then that older man doing something nice back to me because of it. slowly mcsouperson also got a lid from me, despite him making me miss some pages in my book.
i guess the point is, even though you don't want to do something nice or take the time to help others when you have so much other stuff going on in your life, sometimes it's just something you do. whether if you are trying to be righteous or not.
if we never did anything nice for other people, what kind of world would we be living in?
so many interesting things have happened.
i wish i would have written them all down sooner.
today, i was at central market for lunch. i went to get away from everything going on around me. this guy was taking too long of a time in the soup line. i was getting really impatient, but i stayed quiet. i noticed an old man (old enough to be a grandfather, but looked more like willie nelson) waiting on the other side of the slow, slow business man. when he was done, i dove in to get my lid for my cup, i asked the older man if he would like a lid too. he was so taken back, he hesitated to speak. he told me why yes and thank you. while we were walking to check out, he handed me a napkin when he got one.
i was having a really bad day today. in fact, it never really got any better. i was in no mood to do anything nice for strangers, especially after having about 5 minutes wasted waiting for slowly mcsouperson. I don't know if I did it because I've always had these manners bestowed in me or if because i knew it was just something to do. to help someone (even if it was just a lid) when you could. then that older man doing something nice back to me because of it. slowly mcsouperson also got a lid from me, despite him making me miss some pages in my book.
i guess the point is, even though you don't want to do something nice or take the time to help others when you have so much other stuff going on in your life, sometimes it's just something you do. whether if you are trying to be righteous or not.
if we never did anything nice for other people, what kind of world would we be living in?
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
when we see it...we don't believe it
i just worked "my" first show.
it was a long night.
they aren't ready for change.
but here i am.
i'm not going anywhere.
i like when happiness pops up in the least likely spots,
in the least likely of people.
I'm glad to have those reminders that it's going to be ok.
i'm going to be ok.
and that i have people with me through the good and the bad.
nothing says good night like those songs that you just want to scream at the fucking top of your lungs for everyone to hear.
those songs where you can tell someone why that one line is so significant.
and for now...i sleep. dreaming of tomorrow. what is to come and what it can be...
it was a long night.
they aren't ready for change.
but here i am.
i'm not going anywhere.
i like when happiness pops up in the least likely spots,
in the least likely of people.
I'm glad to have those reminders that it's going to be ok.
i'm going to be ok.
and that i have people with me through the good and the bad.
nothing says good night like those songs that you just want to scream at the fucking top of your lungs for everyone to hear.
those songs where you can tell someone why that one line is so significant.
and for now...i sleep. dreaming of tomorrow. what is to come and what it can be...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Nothing wrong, Nothing right...
i don't do well with days off for non-vacation holidays.
i think too much. my mind wanders too much.
i get these thoughts. and i wonder if it is just me remembering
how i used to feel or is it how i still feel? i
i like to believe it is just me remembering....
i found my old journals today. re-reading the past, reliving the past is rough.
in college you can always find someone to hang out with when you just need to be around company.
too bad the real world isn't like that.
i won't be around forever, and i won't be waiting either.
Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take...
i think too much. my mind wanders too much.
i get these thoughts. and i wonder if it is just me remembering
how i used to feel or is it how i still feel? i
i like to believe it is just me remembering....
i found my old journals today. re-reading the past, reliving the past is rough.
in college you can always find someone to hang out with when you just need to be around company.
too bad the real world isn't like that.
i won't be around forever, and i won't be waiting either.
Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take...
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