karma.

i got into a car wreck tonight. it sucked.

what you know you have and what you think you want is never perfect

thing i like about today:
-laughing all day at work
-having money to pay the bills
-getting to work out
-buying dinner for my fam at pho21
-catching up with friends while at work
-looking forward to tokyo police club & saul williams next week
-listening to jenny lewis & the watson twins

what i don't like about today:
-arguing with people i care about
-having to redo a project
-worrying about love ones because they are so sick.
-missing my friends
-not being perfect. that sounds silly. I don't try to be perfect. I just try not mess up. I hate the feeling of messing up. I don't mean at with work, but messing up with life.

A very good family friend passed away this afternoon. I have known her my whole life. She taught my brother in Beaumont, and she was a close neighbor in sour lake. She was a swim team mom, a soccer mom, a band mom, she and i would talk and have drinks together at new year's eve bonfires and 4th of july bonfires. I can honestly say she was one of the most incredible women I've ever known. She had a faith that never seemed to dwindle, a family that loved her so much and thought so highly of her, and she had a heart and kindness that I haven't seen in many. After all these years, after I've changed so much the last 5 years since I've left sour lake, she always recognized me and always gave me a big hug and truly seemed to be excited to see me. She had this ability to make anyone feel loved the instant they saw her.

I cannot imagine Mr. Duff, Amy, Ali, and Christopher having to start living in this world without their wife and mother. She was a truly remarkable woman. She was a woman that I strive to even be half as comparable to, and a person we should all strive to be like. She will be someone very missed, but I can already tell you I've been seeing her through the life and actions of her children for years upon years now.

all my love goes to ms. theresa and to the family and extended family of the duffels....

when is this movie going to come out on dvd....

I'm bored at work. listening to the juno soundtrack. Enjoy.

The Kink's "A Well Respected Man"


Kimya Dawson "Tire Swing"


Matt the Hople "All the Young Dudes"


Cat Power "Sea of Love"


Michael Cera & Ellen Page "Anyone Else Buy You"



I like listening to these songs and thinking about the people it reminds me.

i carry your heart within my heart...

It was a great easter. Chatt came in last night to hang out, so he watched me back cupcakes, then we grabbed some pho 21, then we just hung around the house watching tennis with my aunt and the office.

This morning was when i started cooking my easter brunch feast. I made chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, eggs benedict, bourbon beef tenderloin, croissants, roasted asparagus, the cupcakes from last night, and chocolate chip cookies. It was more food then needed, and though I planned on just cooking it all myself, everyone there chipped in which made the meal and the day even better. Uncle Tom grilled the tenderloin, vicki and april helped with the asparagus, and chatt helped me fry eggs. And the whole morning we drank mimosas.

After lunch, Chatt and I drove down to Kemah and the bay. it was a beautiful day. He convinced me to ride the boardwalk bullet. It was good fun. Then...nap till now. Now I'm about to make myself go back to sleep in preperation for the week.

It was great to spend the day with family and a great friend. I have a lot a head of me in getting used to Houston being my new home (which hopefully it will turn out into). But I feel I'm off to a somewhat good start. I'm so glad to have Chatt so close. He is a great friend, that I missed tremedously the last semester of school. So to build this new chapter of my life with an old friend, it feels pretty good....

you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here...

I have drunkenly commented in the past, but secretly feel that Semisonic's song "Closing Time" is one of the greatest songs that has come out while we were growing up. It might actually be a remake from Leonard Cohen (que?), but i just fucking love this song. I could listen to it everyday, and have no problem with it.

here is the video, enjoy (though the quality of the video suggests that somone filmed it while watching it off MTV of something. S'NICE!)



So i'm ending on my 22 hour trip home. It had it's ups and down. In a little under 2 hours we will be having family dinner. YIKES. My brothe's fiance and her children bailed. So now i have to wait for a phone call from her asking if I will be her maid of honor. She i have only met her once for only 2 hours and it was 4 years ago, but that apperently still qualifies me for being her m.o.h (or as the phof knows it maid of dishonor)

So post-sxsw. I feel alittle empty. I was hoping for some really great time with friends, and it wasn't the dream i imagined. I believe you learn from everything. I don't like to regret anything i have done, I'd rather learn from it. I'm still trying to figure out what i have learned from all of this. Don't try so hard to please people? don't bust your balls for anyone but yourself? I don't really know. I know i love the friends i have. pretty much no matter what. we've all hurt each other in one form or another for different reasons and different circumstances. I just hope that we can remember the good times to keep us going to get through the rough stuff, and get back to the good stuff.

<3

i am ready, i am ready, i am ready, i am fine...

Known to some but more to few, I almost went to film school out of high school instead of A&M. I used to be a huge admirer of film, but over the years music has filled up more of my time.

I still have quite a few strong views about film. One thing I like to consider of state is about my love for when film and music can merge into one being of just utter genius. A clip where the music fits so perfectly with the actions on the screen, you believe that no other song could be placed there.

Here are some favorites:

Fight Club-last scene-song: The Pixies "Where is my mind?"



Cruel Intentions-the first-song: Counting Crows "Color Blind"



Half Nelson-at a loss over a lover gone: Broken Social Scene "Lover's Spit" (Feist Version)



The whole Half Nelson movie is scored by broken social scene. It is an example of sheer beauty; how the two intertwine to tell a heart wrenching story of friendship, lonelyness, and trying to survive.

anthem of a 17 year old girl

i spent most of work today listening to the discovery of broken social scene. i love broken social scene days. they are just so serene and so wonderful. For the past few days I have been replaying the move Half Nelson in my head. It is such an amazing movie, with sad parts and happy parts. But just beautifully acted, and the whole score of the movie is done by broken social scene.

Sometimes I wonder what life could be like if i could have my own soundtrack. To where if someone was watching my life, what they would be hearing. I wish I could live a life through broken social scene. I wonder if viewers would view my life as more beautiful or find it bearable with the sounds of broken social scene? would they love it is their own or not regret it because of the music? just another random thought, I guess...

I got some very exciting news at work today. I don't want to think too much about, but I hope it works out in my advantage....

MSRBLE & SCK

So i'm listening to MSTRKRFT at work; rubbing it into myself that I didn't get to see them Saturday night at sxsw.

I don't collect my thoughts enough, so I'm going to try to start writing more during down time.

All is Full of Love...

So, driving home from Austin yesterday and to work today in Houston, I've been listening non-stop to Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie. I forgot just how good that album is (the bonus is that there is also an ep on it thanks to this burned copy from Mr. Steev Sachs circa 2004).

I'm looking forward to putting a post just of great lyrics from this album, but give me time because I'm at work...

SXSW 2008 Re-cap

The following was a quote about what I expected from SXSW (my first non-spring break as an adult):

"The week should be filled with laughter, good times, good music, new people, new clothes, boooooze"

This is what i got:
-some laughter
-goodtimes

It was a pretty shitty week. Granted i do have some good memories, but the bad (and there was a lot of bad) trump most of the events. Never volunteering for SXSW, EVER.

Highlights:
-seeing Lou Reed perform
-the Levis/Fader party (free booze...good and bad thing)
-meeting Mike from the cool kids. We had a connection
-locking eyes with pharrell, and being so close to him we could have made out (and we might have should have)
-seeing JD from Le Tigre/Men (TWICE!)
-seeing long, lost old friends.
-Marcus being 21 (still)
-seeing perry farrel & tom morello so close.
-N.E.R.D. performance

So some good after all, but still sure glad to be back in Houston.

Words are better than 1000 flowers...

I'm a little behind, but oh well. A quick recap of the passing days.

1. i got offered a temporary job doing promotions for kenny chesney in houston.
2. I've been living and working here for 3 weeks.
3. i love it, and the people i work for our great.
4. living with my aunt vicki and uncle tom has been fab.
5. marcus is now 21 and we got drink drank drunk together.
6. i'm now dating a blackberry i bought two weeks ago. it is love at first sight, and we go everywhere together.

Today, I am leaving for SXSW. I get to spend 5 nights and 6 days with the love of my life, sully sullivan. I. CANNOT. WAIT.

The week should be filled with laughter, good times, good music, new people, new clothes, boooooze.

the ATX will not be the same.